The Laws of cliche don't suit Roberto
After bringing a touch of continental class to these shores last season, it’s a shame to see that British football culture is suddenly starting to get the better of Roberto Martinez.
A year ago, the 35-year-old Spaniard was about to unleash a rampant Swansea City side on the rest of League One having introduced his squad to a diet of healthy eating, double training sessions, daily siestas and the novel idea of touching the ball no more than twice when receiving possession.
But now it seems he is becoming just another Mike Bassett.
After drawing 1-1 with Sheffield Wednesday at the Liberty Stadium on Saturday, Martinez couldn’t resist resorting to a traditional August cliché in his attempts to make sense of a game the Jacks should have won.
“The players are disappointed,” he observed, before delivering the famous old chestnut, “but when you are unhappy with a point against a club like Sheffield Wednesday it shows just how far this club has come.”
A club like Sheffield Wednesday?
What kind of club is that then, Bobby? A club that hasn’t played in the top flight for eight years? A club that’s managed only one top-half finish in the Championship since? A club that needed to win on the final day of last season to avoid being relegated to the third division, again?
Yes, it’s that peculiar time of the season when managers are ‘taking positives’ like Shaun Ryder takes Rennies, desperately seeking some kind of self-reassurance as to how their team will shape-up once things have settled down.
Reporters all over the country are trying to justify totally unnecessary references to virtually-pointless league tables by applying the prefix ‘embryonic’ or ‘fledgling’ and seasoned betting punters like yours truly still cannot accept the notion of a month on the calendar when Dagenham & Redbridge are allowed to win three games.
Still, there’s time yet for Martinez to get a grip.
The moment to really start worrying is when his clichés get to the sophisticated level of his opposite number Brian Laws.
So well-schooled is Laws in the hackneyed routine of the post-match press conference, he gets you to finish the cliché for him, like the holiday camp comedian who doesn’t need to deliver the punch-line.
When asked about the Owls’ part in the South Wales stalemate, Laws responded: “Swansea gave us a hard time, particularly in that first half, but last season we probably would have lost that game...”
Don’t tell me, Brian... it shows just how far you’ve come?